Find your SHAPE - Improve your relationships
Hearts are beautiful people, who are great friends, partners, and parents. They are the one Shape that always overvalues people over everything else. Other Shapes value people deeply, but Hearts can see they are truly the most important thing. They are nurturing and loyal and have so much to offer. They are highly empathetic people, who highly value their relationships, people, and love. We must appreciate the magic they bring to the world. They often undervalue the importance of their gifts in this area and think they aren’t valuable, but they are. What the world needs most, is more love and caring.
It’s important to understand a person’s fears because they drive a great deal of their behavior. Hearts are fear of failure dominant, and they fear being rejected or not loved. They fear of not being accepted or wanted. They fear making mistakes and they often struggle to value themselves. They are often more critical of themselves than any other Shape.
The most important thing to understand about a Heart is that they are fear triggered when they are criticized, or feel not good enough, or unwanted. Fear of failure is the thing that gets them out of balance most. They need lots of validation and reassurance in their relationships to feel safe.
Hearts overvalue people, connection, relationships, feeling safe, comfortable, and cared for. They overvalue feelings and feel everything deeply. They are often highly sensitive and empathetic people, who live in their emotions and are comfortable talking about and expressing them. They care deeply about their family, friends, and relationships.
They can undervalue Tasks/Things and Concepts. This means they can undervalue getting jobs done, working hard, getting out in the world, and having risky adventures and experiences. They can be homebodies, who love being at home with their family and pets. They love long talks and the opportunity to show up for people and make them feel cared about. Their magic lies in being empathetic, kind, caring, and compassionate.
Hearts want to be important in your world and receive attention, but they won’t ask for it. Try to include them and make they feel valued. Don’t be critical or judgmental of them. They can’t handle it. They are very sensitive to negative feedback. They struggle with highly opinionated or judgmental people. They fear conflict and these people are too confrontational.
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Hearts have a great need for connection and inclusion. They are often afraid they aren’t smart or interesting, but they are more intelligent than they think, and they have a lot to contribute. They often feel overlooked and left out, so invite and include them in things as often as possible.
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Hearts often struggle with their weight and tend to be larger people. This can add to their insecurity and feelings of inadequacy. If they gain confidence and beat their fears, they can be very motivated to achieve though, and do great things too.
Hearts in a fear state, can struggle in social settings. Many identify themselves with being losers or loners. Their kindness and agreeable nature make them very likable, but they often don’t stand out or reach out to others. They are afraid of what other people think of them, and they often place the needs of others before their own.
You are lucky person to be in a relationship with a caring Heart. They make the best parents, co-workers, and friends. They are the nicest, kindest, people on the planet. They are warm, friendly, fun, and down-to-earth. They feel things deeply and can highly sensitive. Don’t be surprised if they cry easily. They just feel things deeply. They care a lot about being responsible, but they are just not highly driven. You must also be okay with the fact that they are less motivated than you are. They will never be a perfectionist. You must also be patient with their lack of confidence. They need encouragement and praise often. Help them to find hobbies, interests, or talents where they can shine and that will build self-esteem. Accept them as they are and remind them often, they are awesome.
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Make sure they feel wanted and appreciated. Know that you will always have a caring listener anytime you need someone. Be affectionate with them. Hearts aren’t as comfortable with their sexuality as Octagons and Circles, but they love time to cuddle and be close to those they love. Understand that Hearts need a great deal of reassurance and validation they are good enough. They need to be reminded often they are loved and wanted as they are. If they don’t get this, they can be anxious and unhappy.
Don’t expect them to be highly motivated or pop out of bed in the morning. They struggle to get going and always will, and you must allow them to be who they are. Don’t expect them to keep a perfectly clean and organized house either. They don’t value it enough to do it.
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Don’t criticize or judge them or make them feel unwanted or unloved. This will crush a Heart. Don’t get bothered if they are needy for attention and time to talk with you. This kind of connection means the world to them. They need it to feel safe. Don’t have long, drawn-out fights or conversations that feel unsafe. Hearts can’t handle that either. If you must give them negative feedback, make sure you take time to validate all they do right first. They need lots of reassurance before they can handle anything negative.
Don’t be overly critical or complaining about their lack of drive or motivation. The more critical you are, the less motivated they will be. They are more likely to give up completely, then make a change, when criticized. The best way to motivate them is find ways to do things with them. They are more motivated to work with you than alone.
Don’t get bothered with their attire. They just don’t care enough about it. They value comfort over impressing others. You can encourage them by telling them how great they look when they wear something nice. Positive encouragement is more effective than criticism with a Heart. Don’t yell or get angry at them. If you must give feedback, have a mutually validating conversation, and make sure you listen to their feelings, and build them up first.
As teen-agers they often struggle to get out of bed in the morning and follow through with homework. Parenting a teen Heart means understanding their struggles with motivation and helping them create a life they can succeed in. This may mean getting extra help with organization, schedules, and follow through.
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Other Hearts
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Circles
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Ovals
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Triangles
The Hearts, Circles, and Ovals are easy to get along with and also hate conflict. Triangles are messy and don’t care about appearances or a clean house. They can have healthy relationships with other Shapes too, if they are both balanced and allow for the differences, but they can struggle with Shapes that are highly disciplined, judgmental, or perfectionistic, like Diamonds and Squares.
Hearts are responsible, loyal, peacekeepers, who want to please you at work. They are friendly coworkers who create a great environment in the workplace. They will need you to set clear objectives though and give them lots of reassurance. They are easily overwhelmed, so try to give instructions in small chunks and set hard deadlines. Be clear about consequences and be patient. They are very sensitive to criticism so be sure to praise and build them up before giving negative feedback. Try to set them up to succeed, by giving needed training or mentorship within the workplace.
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Nurses
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Pet care givers
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Teachers
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Office Managers
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Assistants
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Work from home jobs
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Social services
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Administration
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Clerical
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Business owners
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Teachers
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Jobs that requires caring for people or animals, listening to, and supporting people.
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Jobs where discipline, tough decisions, solitary hours, overtime, disciplining others, pressure, and high stress are not present.
They probably need to work on motivation, setting goals and accomplishing things, being consistent, and keeping the house cleaner. They also need help over-coming their fear of failure and seeing their value as the same as everyone else’s. They often over give and don’t take care of themselves. They need to work on having boundaries, speaking their truth, and saying no. This would help them to create healthier relationships.
Hearts often struggle with their weight, they are quiet, often insecure people, who don’t have strong opinions and would not be quick to criticize others.