What the world needs most right now is tolerance and respect for differences

We believe what the world needs most right now, is more kindness, tolerance, and understanding for people who are different from you.

Building a kinder, more tolerant world where humans get along better may sound like a pipe dream because we are wired to fear differences and be defensive. But we believe a more peaceful world is possible because most of us are good people, who care about others, and are capable of learning and growth. While not everyone will embrace changing, if enough of us do, we can create a better world.

The only part of world peace you and I can directly control though, is our corner of the world—our relationships with those around us. That’s where peace on earth must start. If we can’t get along with our spouses, children, neighbors, and coworkers, how can we expect countries and governments to do it?

The Real Cause of Conflict with other Humans

At 12 Shapes, our mission is to help you understand and embrace differences in other people without feeling threatened by them. That is secret to peace, because all conflict is based in differences. The real challenge is managing the fears that differences trigger. By recognizing how our core fears and values drive our thoughts and behavior, we can take responsibility for our reactions instead of blaming others. This is no small task, but 12 Shapes provides a simple framework to make it possible.

Conflict over differences is universal—in homes, workplaces, neighborhoods, and countries. Behind every fight or personality clash lies a difference: opinions, cultures, colors, religions, beliefs, values, or ideals. These differences stem from our unique upbringings, experiences, and traumas, which shape our perspectives and fears. We’re wired to see the world a certain way, and we can’t really change it. We can only see the world through the lens we have.

When faced any difference, we subconsciously feel unsafe or threatened. A differing opinion may make us fear being wrong or dismissed. A cultural difference can feel like a threat to our way of life. These fears are deeply ingrained, as we are programmed to protect our quality of life and personal value. Differences challenge our sense of security.

Here’s the important part: When we feel threatened, we often justify forgetting the humanity of others, treating them with disrespect or even cruelty. This happens even on a global scale, like the ongoing conflict between Israel and Palestine, where fear and defensiveness fuel cycles of bad behavior. It also happens at home, when a spouse’s actions trigger frustration, and we lash out in response. While it feels justified in the moment, such reactions don’t lead to solutions, better behavior, or peace.

The path to a more united world begins with understanding and accepting differences—starting with the people closest to us.

Here are some practical things you can do to be part of the solution:

Start with being more tolerant of yourself

The journey toward tolerance begins with you. Often your intolerance of others is based in a deep dissatisfaction with yourself. If you are a harsh critic of your own faults and flaws, you will usually be equally judgmental of others. You must start practicing daily self-compassion and allowing yourself to be imperfect and enough.

• Learn about your Shape: This helps you understand yourself and the ‘why’ behind your own behavior. It helps you accept your strengths and focus on using your superpower. It also helps you let go of trying to things that you aren’t wired for. 12 Shapes helps you love yourself exactly as you are.

• Practice self-compassion: When you accept your own flaws and differences, it becomes easier to extend that acceptance to others.

• Pay attention to your biases: Your value system (which 12 Shapes will show you) dictates who you tend to judge and why. You tend to look down on people who disvalue your deeply held values. Knowing this can help you to honor other value systems and understand why the world actually needs all of them. There is a place for everyone. You get to choose your values, but you don’t get to enforce them on others.

  
  

Seek Out Diverse Experiences

Building tolerance requires stepping out of your comfort zone and engaging with people from different walks of life. Exposure breaks down stereotypes and creates opportunities for connection.

• Travel with intention: If you can, visit places where cultures and lifestyles differ from your own. Immerse yourself in local customs and perspectives.

• Expand your circle: Make an effort to befriend individuals who have different backgrounds, beliefs, or lifestyles. Learn from their stories.

• Educate yourself: Seek out information about cultures, histories, and experiences that are different from your own. Ignorance often fuels prejudice.

• Volunteer in diverse communities: Working side by side with people from different backgrounds fosters mutual respect and understanding.

  
  

Practice Empathy and Active Listening

Tolerance grows when we take the time to truly understand others. Empathy isn’t just feeling for someone; it’s feeling with them. To build a more tolerant world, we need to listen more and judge less. This is most important in our homes and workplaces. Instead of reacting defensively to behavior, pause and choose to ask more questions and try to understand what's going on with this other person, what are they experiencing that you can't see, what do they need here? Make the choice to care, instead of defend, listen instead of respond, have compassion and validate their right to be experiencing what they are.

• Ask open-ended questions: Instead of assuming, ask people about their beliefs, experiences, and values.

• Listen to understand, not to respond: Focus on their words without forming your rebuttal in your mind.

• Validate their feelings: Even if you disagree, acknowledge that their perspective is valid for them.

  
  

Teach Tolerance to the Next Generation

Children aren’t born with prejudice or judgment; they learn it from the people around them. By teaching children to value diversity and differences, we can create a more inclusive future. But it isn't enough, to just teach them to respect other cultures. They must learn tolerance for children who dress differently, work slower, have different struggles or challenges. So often, children are cruel and judgmental at school, but they have learned this behavior from parents who are judgmental towards them and others at home. Kindness must be taught by example and it starts with how we treat ourselves and those closest to us.

• Model acceptance at home: Show your children how to treat others with respect, even in disagreements.

• Introduce diverse stories: Share books, movies, and media that highlight different cultures and experiences.

• Encourage critical thinking: Teach kids to question stereotypes and think independently about the world around them.

  
  

Speak Out Against Intolerance

Remaining silent in the face of discrimination or hate perpetuates the problem. Being an advocate for tolerance means standing up when you witness injustice. This could also mean speaking up when others gossip about a colleague, and reminding them that we are all wried differently but deserve respect.

• Call out harmful behavior: Address racist, sexist, or intolerant comments in a constructive way.

• Support marginalized communities: Use your voice to amplify their stories and struggles.

• Be an ally in action: Show up for events, causes, and initiatives that promote equity and inclusion.

  
  

Adopt a Framework for Appreciating Differences

Sometimes, the biggest obstacle to tolerance is that we don’t know how to appreciate differences. The 12 Shapes Relationship System offers a practical framework for understanding human behavior by identifying the unique fears, values, and motivations that drive people, and identifying the magic each person brings. Instead of focusing on the downside of their behavior, pay attention to the upside, there usually is one.

• See people as individuals all with the same value: Understand why people behave the way they do as this fosters compassion and breaks down judgment.

• Recognize value differences: Instead of seeing opposing values as threats, learn to appreciate them as complementary strengths. Learn to see their superpower and the magic they bring to the world. Each person has something unique to give you.

• Build bridges: Use tools like 12 Shapes to create meaningful connections and resolve conflicts more effectively.

  
  

Conclusion: You have the power to make a difference

The path to a more tolerant world begins with each of us. By choosing to understand, honor, and celebrate all the differences in the humans around us, we can create ripples of acceptance that transform our families, communities, and beyond. The world needs us to get along, and it must start with you and me. Take the first step today—because a more peaceful, compassionate world is within our reach if we build it together.