How to Know if You Are a Heart – The Most Empathetic Type of Person
- Kim Giles
- Mar 17
- 3 min read
Many people are naturally empathetic, but that alone doesn’t mean you are a Heart. There are other clues to consider. Remember, your Shape isn’t just about what you overvalue—it’s also about what you undervalue and what you fear. Hearts are fear-of-failure dominant, meaning they struggle with deep insecurity and a constant worry that they aren’t enough.
We often find Octagons and Squares who believe they are Hearts until we remind them of this haunting self-doubt. While they may be caring and emotionally aware, they don’t experience the same persistent insecurity that defines a Heart. This distinction is key to truly understanding your Shape.
Hearts also undervalue, or place less importance on appearances, material things, systems, order, drive, motivation, and structure than most other Shapes. While they may still value these things, they often struggle to prioritize them in their daily lives. This leads to unique strengths and challenges that set them apart from other Shapes.
Recognizing a Heart
A Heart’s world revolves around love, connection, and emotional safety. They are naturally warm, nurturing, and safe spaces for others. If you, your child, partner, or a friend is a Heart, you might notice some of these beautiful traits:
They are deeply caring and affectionate, always making others feel wanted and loved.
They thrive in cozy, comfortable environments and treasure security and emotional connection above all else.
Hearts are great listeners and often feel emotions very deeply, making them a source of comfort for those around them. (Though they hate confrontation and are not good communicators if things get tense.)
They prefer working at a slower pace and enjoy collaborating with others rather than being in high-pressure or highly structured environments.
They are gentle and accepting, rarely judging others and instead seeking to understand and uplift.
However, Hearts also struggle with certain challenges when they are unbalanced:
They often feel inferior to others, believing on some level that they are broken, unlovable, or unintelligent.
Their tendency to undervalue structure, discipline, and order can lead to struggles with deadlines, organization, and finishing projects.
They may crave sugar and carbs, seeking comfort in food when emotionally overwhelmed.
When in a fear state, Hearts tend to isolate themselves and push others away, despite their deep desire for connection.
They are prone to emotional highs and lows, anxiety, and depression, feeling things more intensely than most.
Hearts often struggle with insecurity and fear of failure, worrying that they will never measure up to others.
They may be less tidy and particular than other Shapes, as appearances and order are not their highest priority.
They avoid confrontation and may avoid difficult conversations completely.
What Hearts Need from Us
Understanding and supporting a Heart in your life means seeing and appreciating the warmth, kindness, and softness they bring to the world. Here’s how you can help them thrive:
Make them feel seen and valued. Hearts need to be included, invited, and made to feel important. Let them know that their presence matters.
Never make them feel broken. Instead, remind them that their empathy and emotional depth are magical and essential in families, friendships, and communities.
Don’t pressure them to fit into another Shape’s mold. A Heart will never thrive if forced into a high-pressure, rigid, achievement-focused environment. Allow them to be who they are.
Remind them they are enough. The most powerful thing you can do for a Heart is to reassure them that they don’t need to be any different. They are worthy and valuable just as they are.
Help them learn to find balance and employ structure and order successfully. You will have to teach them how to do it, because it doesn't come naturally.
Helping Hearts Find Balance
While Hearts should be accepted for who they are, they also need to strive for balance—just like all Shapes do. This means recognizing where valuing structure, order, and discipline could benefit them. While they don’t have to become rigid or hyper-focused on external success, learning to see the benefits of organization and follow-through can help them navigate life more smoothly.
They should also work on building self-esteem and self-acceptance, recognizing that their value is not dependent on achievements, perfection, or comparison to others. By releasing judgment of themselves and others, they can learn to truly love themselves and embrace the idea that everyone is enough just as they are.
If you or someone you love is a Heart, remember: the world needs more of the kindness, warmth, and emotional depth that Hearts bring. Instead of trying to change them, celebrate them. Help them feel safe, supported, and accepted so they can show up as their best, most balanced selves. Because when a Heart is thriving, they make everyone around them feel truly loved.
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