Are Politics Bringing out the Worst in People around You?

politics and fear are bringing out the worst in us

The political disagreement in this country has reached a boiling point. People are more fear-driven, defensive, hateful and intolerant than ever before. Conversations that should be about ideas and solutions have turned into personal attacks, name-calling, and outright hatred.

If we want to fix this, we must first understand why it’s happening.

Why Do Political Differences Bring Out the Worst in Us?

It all comes down to fear. Political beliefs are deeply tied to our core values, and when someone challenges our beliefs, it feels like either an attack on our identity or our safety, and suddenly:

Compassion is replaced by defensiveness.
Curiosity is replaced by judgment.
Wisdom is replaced by black-and-white thinking.
Respect is replaced by hostility.

When we let fear and defensiveness take over, our true values disappear. We justify intolerance, cruelty, and arrogance because we feel threatened. But here’s the truth: Fear is the real enemy. Not the people who disagree with you.

Fear is the enemy because it corrodes us from the inside out.

Fear warps our thinking, turning people into enemies instead of fellow human beings. Fear convinces us that if we don’t fight, we will lose—our way of life, our beliefs, our security. It makes us reactive, closed-minded, and willing to abandon our own values in the name of self-protection. But the truth is, fear doesn’t protect us—it poisons us. We must speak up and take action to create the changes we believe in, but we can do that without degrading, hating, and putting down our fellow human beings. We can do these things with respectful dialogue - and we will actually get further if we do.

If you want to influence change and teach people, you have to first treat them with respect. They won't be open to learning anything from you, if you just call them names and offend them.

Your fear creates behavior that eats away at our wisdom, replacing thoughtful dialogue with blind rage. It destroys relationships, divides families, and fuels a never-ending cycle of hostility. If we don’t recognize fear as the real threat, we risk losing not just civility, but our ability to truly think, grow, and connect with others.

The answer is to start engaging real critical thinking, and choose compassion and tolerance for people who are different from you. Only here can you have influence.

A Critical Thinking Reality Check

If you consider yourself a critical thinker, ask yourself this:

· Do I seek out perspectives from both sides?

· Do I truly listen to opposing viewpoints, or just wait to argue?

· Do I assume the worst about people who disagree with me?

· Am I treating others the way I want to be treated?

The real free thinkers are those who question everything—even their own side. The real wise people are those who can discuss opposing views with respect and curiosity, instead of defensiveness and insults.

If we would all engage in critical thinking, we would find much common ground with the people we now see as enemies.

How to Increase Compassion & Tolerance in Your Office (or Home) When Politics Are Divisive

If you’re struggling with political division at work, in your family, or even in your social circles, here are 10 ways to increase compassion, respect, and tolerance for those you disagree with.

1️. Assume Good Intentions

Not everyone who disagrees with you is ignorant, evil, or brainwashed. People’s beliefs come from their life experiences, fears, and values. Instead of assuming they are bad or stupid, assume they are a person trying their best, just like you. Give them this and honor their intrinsic value (which is the same as yours).

2️. Listen Without Trying to Win

Most of us don’t listen to understand—we listen to prove the other person wrong. That’s why conversations turn into arguments instead of meaningful discussions.

Next time you talk to someone with different views, make it your goal to only ask questions and listen. See what happens. See if you can learn something you didn’t know. If they are spouting rote rhetoric, remember this is coming from their fear. See if you can discover what they are most afraid of. What are they afraid of losing? See if you can relate and understand that fear. It is probably a place of common ground.

3️. Find Common Ground

At the core, most people want the same things—financial security, fairness, safety, and human dignity. We just disagree on how to achieve them. When talking to someone who disagrees with you, start by pointing out a shared value. Ultimately everyone values freedom, compassion, wisdom, and kindness. Focus on what you agree on.

4. Be Mindful of Your Tone & Body Language

Rolling your eyes, scoffing, or using a sarcastic or dismissive tone only escalates conflict. The way you present yourself is just as important as what you say. If you wouldn’t want someone speaking to you that way, don’t do it to them.

5️. Call Out Disrespect on Both Sides

If you wouldn’t tolerate rudeness, insults, or name calling from the other side, don’t tolerate it from your own. It’s easy to overlook bad behavior when it supports our personal views, but truth and respect must come before loyalty to a party. Be willing to challenge your own side’s bad behavior when it crosses the line.

6️. Don’t Let Politics Define People

A person’s political label is not their entire identity. You can disagree with someone on one issue and still respect them as a human being. Remember that people are more than their political beliefs. Would you still dislike them if you didn’t know their views? Also remember that the two-party system in this country doesn’t leave room for the truth, that most people don’t agree with everything their party does or believes. They are more nuanced than that, and they are much more than just who they voted for.

9️. Respect Personal Boundaries on Political Talk

Not everyone wants to discuss politics at work or in social settings. If someone doesn’t want to engage, respect that. If politics at work is getting toxic, suggest a "No Politics" policy in team meetings and common spaces.

10. Commit to Compassion Over Political Division

At the end of the day, the most important thing isn’t politics—it’s how we treat each other. We’ve lost sight of basic human decency because we’ve been conditioned to believe that “the other side” is our enemy. That’s a lie.

Human beings are the most valuable thing in our world. Their value, the value of every living soul matters. If we aren’t treating each other in a way that honors our equal and intrinsic value, then we are not in the right.

Respect, honor, compassion and tolerance for other humans should be the first principle we are honoring and fighting for - first and foremost. If all our policies and debates started here, we might have hope for creating peace and unity on earth.

The World Needs More Critical Thinkers & Less Fearful Reactors

If your political beliefs are making you:

· Hate others

· Dismiss people’s humanity

· Justify cruelty or insults

· Refuse to listen or consider other perspectives

Then it’s not really your values driving you—it’s fear. We must start valuing people over politics and respect over division. Otherwise, we are all contributing to the problem.

It’s time to stop the cycle and start choosing wisdom, love, and clarity over fear.

Join the Movement

If this resonates with you, join the 12 Shapes Movement—a mission to replace fear, judgment, and division with wisdom, understanding, and respect.

· Take the 12 Shapes Quiz and learn how fear and values drive our behavior. 12shapes.com

· Join our Kindness and Tolerance Challenge—where you practice listening and finding common ground with people on the other side. Where you ask friends and family to have more respect for the human beings they disagree with, and speak out on social media against hate, judgment, and name calling. We can only succeed if we do it together. Post this graphic below on your social media and commit to respecting all human beings, especially those that are different from you.

· Start modeling the change you want to see—in your home, workplace, and conversations.