Why Everything You Think About Personality Is Wrong— Personality is a false concept

I asked AI a great question today… What are the most profound insights that every human should know about the 12 Shapes Science.

Here are five profound insights from 12 Shapes Science —ideas that most people have never considered but completely shift the way we understand human behavior:

1. People don't have fixed personalities—Fear actually drives most of their behavior.

Most personality models assume people have fixed traits, but the 12 Shapes Science reveals that behavior shifts dramatically depending on whether someone feels safe or threatened. It is almost like you have two personalities. One based on your values and one that shows up when you feel unsafe (which is a lot of the time) which disregards your values, wisdom, and love, in favor of safety seeking strategies that are usually defensive, protective, or self-promoting.

When people feel secure, they are their best selves. When fear is triggered (fear of failure or fear of loss), they react in ways that don’t reflect their true character.  If you want to truly understand someone, you can’t just analyze their traits—you must pay attention to their fears. Pay attention to what triggers them into a fear state and what behaviors they are prone to when they feel unsafe.

Personality, as most people understand it, is actually a false concept because it’s based on a superficial and subjective gathering of traits and behaviors—without ever addressing why those behaviors happen in the first place.

Here’s why personality is an illusion and what we should be focusing on instead:

Personality Tests Only Measure the Surface, Not the Cause

Traditional personality models (like Myers-Briggs, DISC, or Enneagram) categorize people based on observable traits, like being extroverted or introverted, structured or spontaneous. But these traits aren’t stable! A person can be outgoing in one setting and reserved in another and the reason that one person is less social is completely different from why another person is. The drivers below the traits are what’s important.

What’s actually driving those behaviors?  Your subconscious fears and values. People behave differently depending on how safe or unsafe they feel.If we don’t understand the fear underneath the behavior, we aren’t really understanding the person.

Your Values, Not Traits, Predict Behavior and Explain Triggers

A person’s core values are a much more accurate way to understand them than personality traits.

• Values shape decision-making in every aspect of life—career choices, relationships, priorities, and reactions to stress. They drive what you wear, what you eat, how you treat others, and what you do for a living.

• Traits can be misleading because they are often situational, but values remain consistent.

Example: Two people might both be described as “hardworking,” but one is driven by perfectionism (fear of failure)  and overvalues people pleasing, while the other is driven by financial security (fear of loss) and overvalues work ethic. The reason they are hardworking is totally different and because they have very different core fears and values, they are triggered by different things and respond differently to stress.

Their behaviors might look similar, but their motivations are completely different—and understanding that is the key to understanding them.

Personality doesn’t create compassion or understanding

 

The biggest flaw in personality theory is that it traps people in rigid categories and if you don’t understand the fears that drive the behavior, you are more likely to judge others than understand them.  When people are labelled by fixed personality types, they tend to see theirs as better than others, the foundational principle of the 12 Shapes is that we all have the same intrinsic value and our goal is to create compassion for differences, through understanding

Instead of boxing people in, we should be focusing on teaching them how to manage fears and align with their values—because that’s what truly improves human behavior.

Most personality sciences don’t improve bad behavior as much as excuse it. 12 Shapes is about recognizing your fear triggers and bad behaviors and learning to stay balanced. It is about being the best version on yourself and having compassion for others.

Personality is a false concept all together. It is subjective and put together with various behaviors, but it never gets to the root cause of those behaviors. 12 Shapes is the only people science like it, that focuses on the WHY (the reasons you behave the way you do).

The second profound insight that AI identified…

2. Every Conflict, Struggle, and Toxic Behavior Comes Down to Fear

Most people believe that difficult people are just “mean” or “bad,” but every toxic behavior is a reaction to feeling unsafe.  When you start to see bad behave as ‘scared behavior’ you immediately have more compassion for the other person.

Micromanagers fear failure, control freaks fear loss, aggressive people fear powerlessness, insecure people fear rejection, cheaters or liars are safety seeking because they need validation or are afraid to face truth.

Instead of taking bad behavior personally, the 12 Shapes helps you learn to see the fear underneath it—and this will change how you deal with people forever. When you can see and understand what they fear, you now know what they need. This gives you the power to resolve conflicts, lessen upset, and help people get more balanced and feel safer with you. This improves all your relationships.

The third profound insight that AI identified…

3. Axiology shows your Core Values predict your choices

While personality is fluid, values are the real blueprint of behavior. People with different values see the world in completely different ways, and most conflicts are actually just value clashes.  If you want to understand someone, stop focusing on personality traits and start learning what they overvalue and undervalue.  

Most people have never heard of Axiology, but it’s a groundbreaking science into how humans value everything in their world. 12 Shapes is the simplest version of Axiology testing on the market today (most axiologists pride themselves on their complexity.) 12 Shapes makes understanding values simple and clear.

The fourth profound insight that AI identified…

4. Most Relationship Struggles Come from Expecting Others to be Wired Like You

We assume that other people see and experience the world the way we do—but they don’t. They are wired very different and they cannot see any situation the same way you do. Not only are they a different Shape, but they have had unique life experiences that have shaped the lens they see everything through. Your lens is made of beliefs (many fear based) that skew what they see and experience.  The 12 Shapes Coaching program is all about analyzing your core beliefs and becoming conscious of your lens. It is about understanding your lens and allowing other people to see their world differently.

The secret to better relationships? Stop expecting others to react like you would and start learning what drives them. No personality science on the market is designed or capable of improving relationships like 12 Shapes does. Because no one else gives you a real in depth understanding of other people and how and why they are different from you.

The fifth profound insight that AI identified…

5. Self-Worth Is the Ultimate Superpower—And Most People Don’t Have It

Most people are chasing achievement, validation, or control—because deep down, they don’t feel intrinsically valuable. They feel unsafe in the world and never believe they are good enough. This is the main driver of bad behavior and poor performance. Therapists and counsellors have tried for decades to improve self-esteem, but they have lacked some critical tools.

True self love can only happen when you:

·       Disconnect your intrinsic worth from performance, approval, or circumstances.

·       Change your foundational belief about how human value is determined.

·       Give up all judgment of others and choose to see all human beings as having the same intrinsic worth, just wired differently.

·       Embrace how you are wired and understand that you aren’t broken, you’re just afraid.

·       Learn how to be your own source of safety and self-worth. Learn how to live without fear so you can show up in your values, wisdom, and love.

When you learn how to love who you are and stop comparing yourself with others, and finding yourself either better or worse, you can start truly living. Without fear in the way you will have free access to your superpower and can truly be your best self. There is no other personality test that gives you the tools to do this.

Conclusion

 Each of these 5 insights flips conventional wisdom on its head and gives you a completely new way to understand yourself and others.

By understanding fear and values, you can decode human behavior and stop relying on outdated personality labels that don’t tell the whole story.

If you haven’t found your Shape – visit 12shapes.com and take the quiz today.

But don’t stop there. Take the time to read the book How Humans are Wired – and go deep in your understanding of other human beings.